My husband, Greg, and I recently travelled through Thailand and Malaysia. In one of the remote islands, we signed up for an easy jungle hike. The excursion included visiting a majestic aquamarine lake, a turtle sanctuary and a shore called Monkey Beach. We had high hopes for an amazing day! But as we hiked and sweated our way through thick foliage for what seemed like miles, we began wondering how long this hike would be. We finally crossed a suspension bridge and found ourselves on sandy ground. To our right was a large waterless hole that our guide said was the lake. We continued on to the “turtle sanctuary” where we saw a few baby turtles in a plastic baby pool. Lastly, we arrived at Monkey Beach where we saw two monkeys tethered by leashes to a tree. Our hopes were dashed, but to my surprise, the highlight of our hike appeared when I saw Greg placing one of the monkeys on his head. The hike may not have met my expectations, but my husband had brought fun and adventure to our marriage!
As Greg and I spent time on our trip looking back at the past 25 years of marriage, we laughed, we cried and we shared about the things we each had expected to be different. Just as we had high expectations for our exotic jungle hike, Greg and I can readily admit that we had some unrealistic expectations for marriage.
Since starting our marriage adventure together, I’ve learned a few things about what Greg needs from me. But more than that, I’ve come to realize that those needs are common to most husbands. Perhaps your husband shares them, as well. Some of your husband’s needs may surprise you because of your own expectations for married life, but I’m confident you can learn how to move beyond your expectations to build a marriage that goes the distance. In my research, I have found 10 things a husband needs from his wife. Here are just five:
- HE NEEDS YOU TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF – A wife who continually gives to her husband from a place of emptiness will eventually end up worn out, and she may become bitter. Taking care of yourself – physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually – will ultimately benefit both of you.
- HE NEEDS YOUR AFFIRMATION – Research done by Dr. Terri Orbuch found that husbands actually needed affective affirmation more than wives did! By understanding that, you can be intentional about giving your husband the affirmation he longs for.
- HE NEEDS YOUR RESPECT –It is a privilege to respect our husband in his God-given role as the leader of the family. Wise is the wife who realizes that fighting her husband for leadership in the home will hurt her marriage.
- HE NEEDS YOUR FRIENDSHIP – Your husband doesn’t just want your friendship; he needsit. Researchers found that men who see their wives as their best friend report twice as much marital satisfaction as those who don’t.
- HE NEEDS YOUR PHYSICAL TOUCH AND SEXUAL INTIMACY – Understanding how God made men and women different sexually will give you more insight into the man you love. He needs you to give all of yourself to him.
Whether you’re a wife who’s been married for six months or 60 years, you can learn about your husband’s needs and grow in your role as his wife. Look beyond your marital expectations and pause to find joy in how challenging, wonderful and delightful the marriage journey really is!