I hear so many people talking about anxiety these days. Many young people in particular have shared with me feelings of stress and anxiety they cannot explain. I tell them, in a nut shell, that anxiety is an experience of unease, both physically and mentally, typically about an uncertain future. You actually “feel” anxiety in your body, including heightened alertness, muscle tension, increased heart rate and blood pressure, chest tightness, numbness, hot flashes, gastrointestinal discomfort, and sweating. It is not a fun emotion to experience. Some feel like they are going to pass out and panic so much they end up in the emergency room. In severe cases, the feeling one is having a heart attack is a common experience.
Recently I read a blog by Dr. John Townsend (co-author of Boundaries) where he shares three common causes of anxiety and practical solutions. These tips can go a long way to help you conquer anxiety. I summarize them here:
1. Isolation – isolation increases anxiety and vulnerable relationships decrease it. When we have lost a relationship, or have difficulty opening up and trusting, we lose the access to those positive endorphins that create comfort and calm, as there is no person around to activate them.
Solution – spend significant vulnerable time with loved ones and people you trust.
2. A sense of lack of control – at its core, anxiety is about control. We feel anxious when we think something negative might happen to us that we don’t have enough control over to stop it.
Solution – “walk through” the experience you fear, thinking through the various parts of what could happen, realizing that 99% of the time, you can handle it, and the other 1% of the time, you have family and friends who will support and stand by you.
3. Being unprepared for life stressors – when we have overprotective parents, friends or communities, the love helps us, but the overprotection or our overdependence increases anxiety. This is because our sense of readiness and competence to handle life’s twists and turns is too undeveloped. Feelings of unreadiness in life skills, career know-how, common sense, handling failure and obstacles, and knowing what to do with difficult relationships, can cause great anxiety.
Solution – develop a sense of competency, or agency, over your life. Stop depending on others, take some risks and push yourself to do new or difficult things, even if you fail.
You’ve got this, but if you need an extra boost, contact me at Meristem Counselling today!